Thursday, January 13, 2011

To all my fellow readers.

My life came to a sad question today...  I am a Charlotte Lucas?  Here is the story to my epiphany..

Since I am no longer taking English courses on campus, I have begun reading again.  Funny how that works, for four years now, I have hated reading.  These past two weeks, I have stayed up at night and finished three, 400 pages novels of MY choosing.  (Would that ever happen with assigned readings from class.... NO!  I always became to sleepy to read, GOD BLESS CLIFF NOTES!)  

Last night, I dove into my movie collection, something I haven't done in a REALLY LONG TIME!!!  My sister Heidy gave me New Moon  and so I watched it for the first time.  So, my next readings of choice come from Stephanie Myers, a fellow BYU english major.  I want to understand the hype behind the Twilight saga.  I want to understand why people love Bella and Edward.  To me, they are annoying, typical hormonal teenagers.  So, tonight I will begin reading them again.  (Yuck, that made me sound like an English major... EWWW!!!)

Ok, so what does this have to do with Charlotte Lucas... and really who is she.  Well, to those of you well acquainted and BFFs with Jane Austen (Katie Eggett, Ursula Martineau and Shelly Martineau), Miss Lucas is the unheroic, tragic woman of Jane Austen.  A woman who married for security, for wealth.  Not for love.  She was very un-Elizabeth Bennett who I say I want to be like. 

So yesterday as I was watching New Moon, I fell in love with Jacob.  Why?  Why not Edward!?!?!  Edward is stone.  Edward is supposed to be hot (he really isn't in the movie.  They should have taken a poll or something before they cast him).  For Pete's sake, Edward is sparkly in the sun and all you know how much I love sparkly things.  Edward just doesn't make my butter melt.

Jacob, dark complected Jacob.  Let's just take a moment of silence and look at him.  All he needs is a little eyeliner and I'd be set.  

ohh and another just cause we can..  How old is this kid anyway.  Is this legal?

The ever constant Jacob, the one who never leaves, who fights for Bella's love when she loves another.  The boy who fixes Bella's bike, protects her from naughty vampires.  Heals her broken heart.  That's romance to me.  It's real to me.  I wanted to hold Jacob's hand.  Maybe make out with Jacob (I am trying to maintain Mormon teenager in my head....think 17 years old, think 17... Ok just stop thinking about it.)

Then I read some Pride and Prejudice today and got to Charlotte Lucas marrying Mr. Collins because he is real.  Collins will provide for her, is well connected.  Collins is a good match for a poor, aging girl.  But I say to myself, "COLLINS IS A TWIT!"

I like Jacob because he is real, Collins is real...Oh dear where's the romance?  Am I really Charlotte Lucas.  Wants to be romantic but can't.  PANIC!!  What about me....Did I marry right?  

Where's the romance?  It's ok, I married right...  My romance is hiding in another Jane Austen novel, Sense and Sensibility.  I'm the wanna-be-passionate-romantic turned sensible.  I'm  Marianne.   Where's my romance?

It's at home, with my real, ready to fight for my love, mend my broken heart, never cover wagons me, unclogs my drains/toilets, fixes my broken cars, let's me put my cold feet on him,  Colonel Brandon Boyd Strickland.  



  1. I love (from a far distance sister-in-law kind of way) Your Colonel Brandon. And yes, Marianne, you did marry Mr. Wonderful - thank goodness, too, you chose him and not Mr. Twit. (Remember dating him? Aren't you glad you found Mr. Right and didn't settle for Mr. okay-I'll-settle-for-him-'cause-I-like-his-sister-but-he's-so-damn-annoying-but-he-asked...? Ugh! He was so awful.)

    And I like the second, more appropriate to your Colonel comparison - why even talk Jacob/Edward when Colonel Brandon (literary-wise and real-to-us-wise) is such a lovelier person anyway?

    And why are you reading S.Meyer (again) when there are so many other authors out there?

  2. Esther, this post made me laugh! I miss you! When can we hang out?